Sometimes

Sometimes,
I feel like such an empty soul.
Sometimes,
I can remember so clearly the terrible useless
Feelings I had as a youth.
They seem to hang on and on.
I've changed, I know!
And so much for the better.
So, why can't I shake off and be done with
These bad feelings
When they return, as they do so often,
They swallow me up like a terrifying nightmare,
The kind that are so difficult to escape,
Regain control after and forget.
Sometimes,
I'm frightened to think, that maybe I haven't
Changed, maybe I'm playing a game
and playing it badly