Colors of Dad

Palette is ready
Mixed and filled with my version
The colors of you dad.

Brush poised above the canvas

A recliner in the corner
And there you are
Newspaper open and a football game on
Waiting for mother to finish
tidying up

There she is
Sitting on the couch near you
Your hands a loving bridge

Impossible
To paint you on your own
Impossible.

Changing to a pencil
I want to get the details right

Another corner of the canvas
A truck and camper take shape
Campfire
Folding chairs
Friends
Laughter
So much laughter

And now the center of the canvas

You’re home from work
Mother’s in the kitchen
You embrace
The long embrace

~KGM 6/11/2015

Slowed by Trauma

when I was young
I was transparent
dodging what I could
submitting to the undodgeable

I predicted the family future
at the age of 5
but was afraid to grasp
my own salvation

aging finds me grasping
and regretting
regretting and grasping
learning who inhabits this body

I'm still an amateur
but don't underestimate
my ability to offend
or be offended
And
wondering when
I'll be fully grown

~kjm 2013

Compassion

Where is your compassion?

Do you only take it out of your pocket

To show to friends

To parade at parties

Or is it always on your sleeve


Not to be seen so much as to be felt

Slid across your cheek

To remind that you too have a vulnerable self


Who needs compassion?

Those cutting words you utter in private

Leave shadows across your face

A crick in your neck

A hitch in your step

And when you are aged

You will be asking,

Where is your compassion?

~KGM '14

Honeymoon Beach 1978

I saw our love
In action today
The waves against the rocks

Each watery contortion
So different -
But equally awesome

While unnoticeably
Making change after change
Upon the landscape

Which in time, we'll both agree
Will make something beautiful
More so

Lost Tether

I weep for you still.
That invisible indestructible
elastic
tether
that once strung our hearts together
is gone.
It's taken me months to realize
I'm like a balloon without a string
. . . or a girl without her mother.
No more sitting close to you on the loveseat
holding your hand.
Standing shoulder to shoulder
in the kitchen
cooking or cleaning up.
Your absence grips me
ambushes me
soaking my pillow with tears
I once feared ghosts
but now wait for them
Hope for them.
Hope for you.

KGM
7-12

Most Loved

I'll bet you don't even know
that you're the favorite

I've finally decided
that special honor
isn't due to
an open door

Maybe it's that
unwavering gaze
straight into your
audience's heart

Or as mother
described you
so soft, so warm
so huggable

I hate to admit
learning your status
hurt me
Why should it?

Because
I thought it was me

Remembering Mama

You'll always be here, won't you?
A permanent fixture in my head.
Lessons learned
Flora and fauna names
kitchen tips
and relationships, too.

You'll always be here, won't you?
A permanent memory in my head.
Jumping rope in the kitchen
The grapefruit diet
Winding curlers into G'ma Curley's hair
and warm pudding, too.

Promise?

You'll always be here, won't you?
A permanent conversation in my head.
Behind the wheel
Cutting parchment
Vacuum in those corners
and triple word scores

You'll always be here, won't you?
Standing right behind me
Reading what I'm writing
I can hear the smile in your voice
Your warm soft laugh
and your embraces
your warm embraces.
~Your Loving K
December 19, 2011

Only Memory

So very often
Especially in Autumn
Mother Nature
Takes hold of all my senses
And puts them in Awe
And then my hand
Begins to ache
So much pure beauty
Around me
And I, minus the talent
To capture the color
On Canvas forever
So instead
I admire Mother Nature's work
for hours
Only to feel I've missed it all
When the season ends -
Because of my extreme
lack of proof

A Generation

The moon looks me in the eye
As I stare back,
Then I count his flaws -
Usually lose track.
Maybe this will change -
Most likely won't,
Could be a star -
But most of us don't.
We just drink the booze,
And smoke the pot,
And listen to each other's minds
Creatively rot . . .

Lisa's Here

I only wish for one love
One love's fine for me.
I'll never need another
One love's all I need.
But now this cherub is in my life
Charming me, it's true.
Now one love, isn't good enough,
But I'll settle for just two.